Wendy's Guide to Her Beetee Fanfiction
by NutsandVolts
Summary: Ever wonder why I do what I do to Beetee in fanfiction? Click here to find out! Note: I've no idea if this kind of thing is allowed, so read quickly before it's taken down! Important news is also inside!


What's up, it's Wendy! :D

Now, you all know that I'm known for writing fanfiction about not just Beeress but Beetee in general. Do you ever wonder what's going on inside my head when I'm writing all of this? Well, now's your chance to find out!

So, without further ado, here is Wendy's Guide to Her Beetee Fanfiction. Let's get started.

If Beetee has a particularly fluffy moment with Wiress, it means I thought it was going to rain today, but it didn't, and I got to spend a lot of time on my trampoline. :)

If Beetee gets slapped upside the head by someone, especially if it's by Wiress, it means my brother has been annoying me a lot lately.

And if Wiress gets pissed at Beetee, it means my brother has pretended that he's done nothing wrong and gotten pissed when I asked him to leave me the hell alone.

However, it should be noted that if Wiress gets pissed at Beetee for something he didn't really do, it means my brother is pissed at me for not doing something, and while I'm ignoring him, I know deep down that I really should be doing whatever he's bitching about.

If Beetee has a particularly fluffy moment with someone not Wiress, like a child or a sibling, it means that my dog just did something really adorable.

But if Beetee does something to get someone he's really close to that isn't Wiress angry, it means that my dog just took a giant shit on my floor and I got some of it on my favorite jeans while cleaning it up.

If Beetee has consensual sex with someone and they both genuinely enjoyed it, it means I'm either kind of horny or I'm planning something horrible for him later and am trying to compensate for it now.

But if Beetee has sex with someone and is either ashamed afterward, didn't like it, or finished too quickly and made the other person mad at him, it means I recently attained some type of annoying foot injury. Maybe I stepped on something sharp or stubbed my toe.

If Beetee completes an invention, it means one of four things. I either finished a chapter of one of my Beeress fanfics, such as _Breaking Point_, I Christmas-treed an important test and made an A, I attained a new follower on either FFN, Tumblr, or deviantART, or I've listened to a new song and really, really like it.

If Beetee gets a cold or some other mild illness, it means I have a really annoying song stuck in my head.

If Beetee starts swearing repeatedly, it means I'm either in a bad mood and trying to contain myself from doing something worse, I just watched Jenna Marbles, or I'm channeling my inner five-year-old and giggling at the sight of the word "fuck" on the screen.

If someone that Beetee loves and who was completely innocent dies, it means I'm either starving for reviews, just chipped one of my teeth, or just got dumped by my boyfriend.

And if that person dies in a particularly horrible way, it means a teacher gave me an F on an assignment I know I did correctly.

If someone Beetee thought was his friend or ally does something terrible to him, either in the Games or otherwise, it means my best friend stole my hairdryer and my hair is really frizzy.

But if someone Beetee thought was his enemy suddenly shows his or her true colors and was only trying to protect him, it means my hairdryer was returned to me, my hair looked really good today, and I got a ton of compliments for it.

If Beetee is teased for his height (in my headcanon, 5'4 ½), age (again, in my headcanon, 54 years old), or general nerdiness, it means I wore shorts today without remembering to shave my legs and looked like a fucking Sasquatch.

If Beetee showcases his clumsiness and falls down a staircase or something, it means I had toilet paper stuck to my shoe for half the day and only the cafeteria lady had the decency to tell me.

If Beetee humiliates himself in some way, it means I accidentally wore my shirt inside-out, couldn't get to a bathroom to fix it, and had everyone staring at it—not saying anything, just staring.

If Beetee gets injured, it means Christmas-treed a test and bombed it. That, or I think he's cute when he's in pain. XD

If Beetee does something sexual with another man, like make out with Finnick or something, it means I'm either really horny or have spent a lot of time recently with my gay friend, Charles. Love you, Charles! 3

If Beetee gets angry at someone he cares about, it means I crave a sandwich. That is all.

And if Beetee has to watch everyone he loves get eaten by lions, it means I'm on my period.

So there you have it. :) Review with anything you think I forgot, and I'll address it as soon as I can! And don't forget to follow me on Tumblr for exclusive Beeress oneshots and SIS news!

Hugs,

Wendy


End file.
